Gender: Whither Now?

As ever, your comments are welcomed, coherence is not gauranteed, and ideas are likely to change, evolve, and infuriate. Please bear with me as I work this all out.

Yesterday I blogged a post I've written as a submission for the Good Men Project, on Gender and how my religious upbringing has affected my views on Gender roles, issues, and identities. I thoroughly enjoyed the challenging comment from a friend, who blogs here at Sanity's Cove, which sparked the writing of this post:

"It reads like you are using vagueness as a means of trying to appear polite and ramblings about open-mindedness and grace as an apology for the little you actually do say on your declared subject of choice.

Tell me what you really think about gender and this time be balls-out Creedy"

Its always nice to get something like this - it means someone, somewhere, is reading. It's also worth noting that the post linked to above is aimed at a secular, non-descript website audience - whereas this blog is predominantly open about its Christian content, though of course anyone of any faith or none is welcome to read and join in!

And, as blogging supposed to be a form of social media, a form of interaction, part of a discussion, it seemed to reasonable to respond. So here is a response.

My views on Gender - specifically relating to roles and otherwise in the Church have been undergoing something of an overhaul in recent years. Largely due to studying theology - but also due to rediscovering John Calvin and trying to echo his high view of Scripture in my own life, which I find to be intellectually engaging and spiritually refreshing. A while back now I wrote a post "Where Next?", in which I explored where I am now - I recieved a storm of comments, for my blog at least, and this lead to all sorts of fruitful new connections, resources, and reading.

I've been reading onwards and inwards on this issue for a while. I particularly enjoyed two books, that in different ways, challenged my personal assumptions. I think anyone seriously thinking about this area should read "Slaves, Women and Homosexuals" by William Webb, and "How I Changed my Mind" by Alan Johnson, which is a series of interviews with prominent Evangelical leaders who hold a range of egalitarian viewpoints. I'm still impressed by Wayne Grudem's "Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth: An Analysis of 114 Disputed Questions", but am also warming to Rich Nathan's approach. There are a lot of well written, intellectually fulfilling positions and resources out there - that represents just a snapshot of what I've read, and a tiny pinprick of what's out there.

I think a note of reason needs to be sounded. This is a multi-faceted issue. One about leadership - but also relating to each other. It is a fundamental tenet of Christianity that, in Christ, there is no male or female (or slave nor free), but what that means practically (Rather than in terms of worth, spiritual equality, etc) is hugely disputed. I still find great merit in a number of simple maxims;

"Equal but different"

I firmly believe that men and women are equal - but that they are also different. That means, in some peoples eyes, I uphold inequality. I disagree - men and women are of equal worth, but perform different tasks. One thing I have been challenged about in my occasional reading of feminist thought and theology is that in parenting, mother and father are equally valid, and yet different. With various biblical allusions to the 'motherhood' of God, we need to be careful about what we mean when we say that God is our Father - he is NOT our Mother, but insofar as his image is accurately represented in humanity, then there are elements we might traditionally associate with feminity and motherhood, inherent in God's character. I believe that this simple maxim translates into the sphere of church leadership differently than in the secular world - because the Church is different.

"My daughters can be anything but fathers, husbands, and elders"

This quote, from one of my favourite pastors, who is a Godly bible teacher and a wonderful father and husband, sums up my approach. I think redefining words is dangerous - look at the recent/still happening furore over marriage in the UK - and I think that father and husband are two male-only roles - just as mother and wife are female-only roles. I would go out on a limb and say that eldership (the NT church leaders) is restricted to those who are men. That is NOT because men are better - they aren't, and it is NOT because women can't do it - but because, I believe, that is what God makes clear in his word. I disagree with some of those who might be natural allies in that I believe women can be pastors (but not elders)/vicars in their denomination, and preach, teach and perform leadership roles in the church - but the 'office' of elder is different. 

So your ecclesiology has a HUGE bearing on gender roles in the church. As someone who thinks that an elder-lead church model is ideal - whilst in communication/communion with other churches - I would say that that eldership is to be male only - but that those men SHOULD share that part of their lives with their wives, so that the wisdom of women can be added into the equation. Not as elders, but as helpers. Not as subordinate drones, but as equal, valid, intelligent, invaluable individual contributions.

What about the home?

There is one maxim that I hope to fulfil in my own impending marriage, and think is right at the heart of Gospel living. 

"submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"

This, in marital terms, is mutual submission. It's an upopular idea. The idea that the BEST way to lead your wife, as a man, is to die to your self and put her first, is deeply counter-cultural. But its what Jesus did for the church. Ephesians 5 - often misinterpreted, hence my post "Mind the Gap" emphasises the submission that is necessary for marriage. But this is not mindless, meek, vacuous relationship. The husband is called to love - as a total, radical thing - his wife, Paul makes it very  clear that this is not lording it over one's wife but instead a total love that is far beyond anything the world is used to. I'm still working out, praying about, and thinking about what this will mean for my fiancee and I. I'm excited to see what will happen.

Those are some of my thoughts on Gender. I believe there are two genders - male and female - but that the Church MUST have space for engagement with those who are the exceptions to that rule. The Church must love transgender people. Or people who are unsure about their gender identity. Ultimately, identity is not to be found in our gender (or sexuality, or religion, or race, or creed, or colour, or class, or sex, or job) but in how we relate to Jesus. Fundamentally there are two kinds of people. Those who submit to Jesus and let everything else flow from that, and those who don't. Everything else is a label that distracts from Jesus being first in our life. 

As ever, your comments are welcomed, coherence is not gauranteed, and ideas are likely to change, evolve, and infuriate. Please bear with me as I work this all out.