Guest Post: Singleness and Celibacy

I'm no Roman Catholic, but I enjoying occasionally listening and learning from the world's largest Church, and today's guest post is an example of that. The author is a friend from university, who is currently in a Catholic seminary, training to be a Roman Catholic Priest. This Guest post, following on from a previous one, and some readings on the topic, is the latest in an ongoing quest to think carefully through the issues of Singleness and Celibacy in the Christian life. I love this post, in which the Author demonstrates amazing faith in the reality of the Christian story. I hope you enjoy it too, and we would love you comments...

There’s a certain reaction I’ve come to expect over the last year or so when meeting new people. The usual question, “so, what do you do for a living?” comes up to which I answer I’m training to be a Catholic priest. Of all the possible replies a person might give to that statement one is more common than any other – 

“so you’re never going to get married? As in no sex and single for the rest of your life!?”

In short yes, you’ve got it in a nutshell, but what I want to explore is why this is a Christian calling with deep biblical roots (sticking with the celibate bit here, ignore the priest part for this blog post). Also I’d like to look at why it’s such a powerful witness in today’s culture and more shocking to people than the fact that I believe in the incarnation, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ true God and true man.

Celibacy and singleness for the sake of the Kingdom is radical, counter cultural and profoundly challenging primarily because it says loudly and clearly that I believe there is more to life than our contemporary society does, for if the dead are not raised, ‘Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.’ 1 Cor 15:32 I’m going to unpack this though the lens of Abrahams call and the sacrifice of Isaac.

God’s promise of immortality to Abraham was simple - I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. Gen 12:2 Abraham would live on through his offspring. This is worked out over 10 chapters of human failure and lack of trust in God but eventually we arrive at the crunch point. God has given Abraham the son he promised, through whom Abraham believes Gods original promise will be fulfilled, and now God ask for something truly radical of Abraham – risk it all on God’s word. Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering. Gen 22:2 It’s this risk that the celibate life has at its heart, give everything trusting that God will come good on his promise of immortality.

It’s surprising how much this Old Testament model of immortality, the remembering of the name by the descendants (which is why the Old Testament is so keen on genealogies and why Jewish prayer recalls the names of past family members) is still the model of immortality for today’s culture. How many times have we all heard people say, “I believe I’ll live on through my children.” Now I’m not saying that every Christian who has children is denying that God changed the game in the resurrection; but rather that God calls some from among his people to witness to the resurrection in a radical way by not marrying and that this is often, in the scriptures at least, linked to the committal of some special work by God to that person.

We find the idea of celibacy, or at least temporary continence, is associated with special service to God. When the nation of Israel in Exodus comes to meet God at Sinai Moses commands them: Be ready for the third day; do not go near a woman. Exodus 19:15 Likewise the prerequisite for the taking of the bread of the presence from the temple by King David was the continence of his men 1 Sam 21:5, which implies the temporary continence of the Levites whilst serving in the temple just as the whole nation was temporarily continent when meeting God at Sinai; much evidence for this is found in the Qumran community’s life and writings. Jeremiah heard the voice of the Lord command, you shall not take a wife, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place. Jer 16:2 and Jewish tradition holds that both Elijah and Elisha were celibate all their lives.

This is a tradition that Jesus grew up in and one he chose to associate himself with closely in his own life long celibacy. He taught that celibacy was a gift and that there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Matt 19:12 Even married people he encountered would leave everything to follow him and that no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life. Luke 18:29-30 Similarly the early Church accepted celibacy as a Christian calling, one which Paul famously lived out. In fact Paul hoped that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 1 Cor 7:7-8 and taught that even marred couples could abstain for a time through mutual agreement to devote themselves to prayer. 1 Cor 7:5 Paul, and other figures in the early Church, where called to do exactly what Jesus talked about when he said become a eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom.

Sadly Christianity today seems to have all but forgotten about this aspect of Christian discipleship. Even devout Christians look at single people who choose to be single as odd, if not down right crazy, rather than supporting them in there vocation. When was the last time you heard a sermon on the celibate life? Yet our western society has become so sexualised it is one of the greatest witnesses Christianity today could give to the Gospel – there can be a world in which it doesn’t have to be the norm for 100% of 14 year old boys to have watched pornography as was reported in the news last week.

So celibacy is a challenge to our culture not just because our culture doesn’t seem able to recognize someone as fully human unless their having sex but more deeply because it strikes at the heart of the reason for that. I believe that the obsession of contemporary culture with sex isn’t purely hedonistic, it’s representative of a deep seated desire to in some way cheat death and it goes hand in hand with the sanitization of illness and dying, the rising number of people not dying at home and the coffins behind curtains at funerals. Our culture cannot cope with finality and therefore it cannot understand something as final as celibacy.

To say I will never be married and I will never have children is to say that I believe so profoundly and radically in Christ’s resurrection, and therefore my sharing in that, that I am willing to take the risk the secular world is so terrified of. I am willing to leave no legacy, to have no insurance policy, to be forgotten, because I will risk it all on the cross of Christ to signpost his kingdom in a special way.

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If you've enjoyed this Guest post, then you might like to hear a different approach to the subject, a review of Wesley Hill's "Washed and Waiting", about the lifestyle choice of a Christian who is celibate and Gay. Otherwise I refer you to my previous post, "Readings in Singleness and Celibacy", and a previous Guest Post, "The Single Life".

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