Remembering (how) to Worship

I struggle with depression. I've blogged about it as a topic before, and I've even shared an ill-considered poem about it. For different people, Mental Health struggle, grief and depression take different forms. For me, there are different ways the black dog affects my life. Recently, though, I've found one thing in particular uniquely challenging, and negative in its effects.

I've found it hard to worship God normally (in a gathered, singing context) for months.

This weekend, though, my wife and I have been lucky to anonymously be at Momentum, a long weekend of worship, teaching and ministry for young adults, linked to (and run by the team behind) Soul Survivor. I went in to the festival (whence I am currently blogging from!) hopeful but cautious, not sure what would happen, not knowing how I'd feel. But at the morning meeting on the Friday at Momentum, I was struck by three songs, sung in succession, which challenged me to my core about what it means to worship, when and how we worship, and who we are worshipping. I want to share brief extracts from them here:

Firstly, I was reminded about who it is we are worshipping, as a crowd of thousands of 20's and 30's and students sung John Wimber's "Isn't He". This is an old, early Vineyard song, which uses that wonderful method of call and response (there is probably a technical term) to remind ourselves corporately and individually who Jesus is and what He is like:

Isn't He (isn't He)
Beautiful (beautiful)?
Beautiful (beautiful)
Isn't He (isn't He)?
Prince of peace
Son of God, isn't He?

Isn't He (isn't He)
Wonderful (wonderful)?
Wonderful (wonderful)
Isn't He (isn't He)?
Counselor,
Almighty God, isn?t He?
Isn't He? Isn't He?

Yes You are (yes You are)
Beautiful (beautiful)!
Beautiful (beautiful)
Yes You are (yes You are)!
Prince of peace
Son of God, yes You are!

Yes You are (yes You are)
Wonderful (wonderful) !
Wonderful (wonderful)
Yes You are (yes You are)!
Counselor,Almighty God, yes You are! 

I found that simultaneously comforting having it sung around me, and convicting, challenging and life-bringing to be singing it myself. And, even as I started to realise that and engage with God in worship, I was reminded of something else by the next song. That circumstances don't stop us from worshipping God. We sang a song that has been incredibly helpful to me recently - I often play it on the way to work, for example - "Sovereign Over Us" by Michael W. Smith. 

The entire song is wonderful, but there are two parts which I find incredibly helpful:

Your plans are still to prosper

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood

You're faithful forever

Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

And the twice-repeated refrain toward the end:

Even what the enemy means for evil

You turn it for our good

You turn it for our good, and for Your glory

Even in the valley, You are faithful

You're working for our good

You're working for our good and for Your glory

If you don't know the song, I like this version, simply played by Aaron Keyes:

Finally - and it is interesting that I keep coming back to this song, touching as it does on what is the core of my faith, regardless of other things (and, interestingly, my most popular blog post) - was a song that reminded me so comprehensively and powerfully of what it is that makes our worship possible. I love the modern hymn "In Christ Alone", by Stuart Townend, and singing it again completed a trifecta of things that helped me remember how, why, and who to worship, but that all-important fundamental thing that frees us from sin and releases us to worship, to enter Jesus' presence, and get caught up in a Kingdom that is worth dying for:

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny. 
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand:
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

If you've read this post, I hope its been an encouragement or a provoking. Personally, it's been slightly spiritually selfish, refreshing, and valuable to remind myself of what worship is, how we do it, and what and who it is for.

Thanks for dropping by!