The Meaning of Marriage?

A few days ago I posted a review of a brilliant book on Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller. Titled 'The Meaning of Marriage', it is a brilliant, beautiful, biblical in the best sense and utterly well-reasoned explanation, application and defence of the Christian view of marriage.

What does marriage mean? Thats a question that we need ask ourselves. Especially as Christians, but as people too. Because marriage is in the news - not always for good reasons - and in order to talk about something we need to know what we think about it. 

Many Christians, with what I assume are good intentions, have taken to expressing their view that marriage should be open to same-sex couples such as this post from Sarah Bessey. Others have attacked those who would seek to uphold any mention of an orthodox, traditional view of marriage, as I blogged about. In the secular sphere, even a fairly nonthreatening advert, displayed on an intelligent blog, is seen as homophobic for no good reason, as Cranmer reports.

So what does marriage mean? I could talk about it as being the building block of society, I could talk about it being necessary for procreation. Or a myriad of other reasons. But I want to use a specifically theological observation about marriage to examine what it means.

I've blogged before on the elusive truth of Ephesians 5 - a passage where Paul tells us what marriage means. I'm not here talking about roles in marriage, or the practical living out of marriage but instead the MEANING of it. Ephesians 5:25-33 is a rich, beautiful, powerful passage; read it here.

The text is clear - there are two different genders here. Male and female. Its reminiscent of Genesis - two different genders. There is a direct relation of Jesus and the church. It parallels Man and Woman in marriage. Paul says that this is a good thing, with a positive application - "for no-one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church". For those who read the New Testament, or have any awareness of basic Christian theology, then you will know that Christ nourishes and cherishes the church by loving it. Loving it by dying for it. Elsewhere Paul writes beautifully - using the language of the human body, especially in 1 Corithinthians 12, because the body is an immensely important part of God's creation in man - about the relationships between individual Christians - as part of Christ's Church. The two are in wonderful symbiosis, wonderful one-ness, wonderful relationship.

Paul then, in verse 31, quotes Genesis 2:24, just as Jesus quotes Genesis in Mark 10:7 and Matthew 19:5. This quote, for Paul, is;

 "a great mystery"

But, by God's Grace, it is expanded to us - "I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church". Notice the "and". Notice the two distinct parties. Notice Christ AND the Church. Notice the mysterious nature of it. The meaning of marriage is directly linked to the central truth of the Gospel - that Jesus loved and loves the Church - his bride. It is not for nothing that the church is referred to as the bride of Christ, even in the Bible. 

Marriage is not for everyone - Paul in fact encouraged people to be satisfied with being single, and thats putting it mildly! But Church should be. And Jesus is. The profound mystery of how Jesus relates to his Church, to his chosen, beautiful redeemed bride is seen in the picture of marriage. A picture that serves other purposes. I don't want to enter again into debates on the conjugal mechanics of marriage, or the proposals for this or that. I just want to point out what I honestly believe to be the meaning of marriage - a picture of Jesus and the Church.

Kevin deYoung, a thoughtful and engaged american Pastor, wrote this article about why Christians should oppose gay marriage. I'm not writing about the content of that article - I'm instead emphasising something he says, almost in passing;

"We should not concede that "gay marriage" is really marriage. What's more, as Christians we understand that the great mystery of marriage can never be captured between a relationship of Christ and Christ or church and church"

Christ loved the Church so much that he died for her.

The Church is the bride of Christ.

Christ did not die for Christ.

The Church is not the bride of Church.

Paul uses marriage as his picture of the ultimate truth of reality because, as Christ and the Church are different but intertwined by God's gracious purpose, so too, God intends, should man and woman in marriage. The great meaning of marriage is that Jesus, the perfect bridegroom, loved the Church, the redeemed and beloved bride, so much that he died for her.

The Gospel of Jesus is that humans have a problem, and that Jesus, as the coming king of everything, invites us to accept his solution, and join him in announcing his kingdom over all creation.